Last week I got into a bit of a boxing match with judgment and managed to give myself a good beating about all that I am not ~ or at least thought at the time I was not.
Over the weekend it seemed like everyone was annoying me. I found myself saying to myself after an interaction with someone “What makes you think you know what I need more than I do?” It was the theme of the weekend, showing up from different sources on different topics.Here’s just a few examples:
- Hanna had a pain in her foot. My mom decided she’s got growing pains, and I’m not giving her enough calcium and need to give her more.
Didn’t ask how much calcium she’s already getting, or even ask Hanna any questions to see if that’s really what the problem may be.
My answer… “What makes you think…”
- Talking to hubby about getting new pedals for my new bike so I can get used to the bike before I go clipless.
His answer: You need to get clipless pedals, studies show… yada yada yada husband speak.
My answer… “what makes you think…”
- Friday night my mom took Hanna to Elmo Live ~ I was looking forward to a nice dinner and quiet evening with hubby. Mom harps at me about going to dinner and a movie, normal couples go out, yada yada yada mom speak.
my answer… “what makes you think…”
Ended up going to a very LOUD bad movie when all I really wanted was some silence. Silence is at a premuim around here lol.
There were plenty more, but I’ll spare you all the details.
How does any of this affect you? or me for that matter, other than being aggravated a good part of the weekend?
Here’s the scoop, and I didn’t realize it until I was talking with a dear friend yesterday morning.
Friday thoughts of mine: I suck, I can’t do this, I can’t do that, I can’t even figure out how to create a rythm, I can’t figure out what I want to be important in my life etc etc.
Universal message received over the weekend… “You know plenty about what you want and need!”
Over the weekend I was given many instances and opportunities to stand in my knowing. To recognize and realize I do know what I want, I do know what I need. My life is my own and I even though it’s not perfect (ha ha) I DO know what I need and what I want.
Sometimes, heck it seems pretty much every time, someone or something is annoying me it is really a message from my greater self to myself. It’s an opportunity to rile up those emotions from the opposite side of where I may be standing so I can take a look at what’s going on.
It’s a mirror.
Face front and take a look. Here’s where you are standing, here’s some other things you can look at.
So what do you think?
Once you tune into what’s going on, it’s pretty difficult to come out of a weekend filled with that many mirrors and still be standing in a place of “I can’t” or “I’m not enough”.
Instead of getting annoyed I really should thank all the annoying people in my life! However, I always forget that. I really do. I know it’s how things work, and yet I always forget. I get lost in everyone’s just trying to drive me nuts.
I urge you to notice if you find yourself using the same phrase/thoughts in response to interactions with other people. If you do, it’s probably not them, but a message from your higher self to you, to look at the situation. Taking some time to look at the thing that is “irritating” (as in causing friction) you and how it is relevant or fits into other areas of your life where you’re not feeling good/comfortable/enough may be just the thing to get you over that “not enough” feeling (or anything else that may be going on with you).
Once you can see how many ways you ARE enough (by way of situations brought to you that may irritate the hell out of you) it’s much easier to let go of the belief you were previously holding.
*** The way things show up ~ irritate me ~ bother me ~ may not be how things show up for you. But I assure you, things are showing up for you. Take a moment to notice patterns of thoughts going on, especially after you’ve been down on yourself about something… I bet it’s you trying to help you!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and any experiences you’ve had that helped you overcome a belief that was holding you back. Please feel free to share them in the comment section!